Divorce is a very emotional experience for everyone going through it. However, when children are involved, they feel like their whole world has turned upside down. For children, divorce from their parents can be very stressful and sad. Witnessing your parents’ divorce can be traumatic at any age. Some children even consider themselves responsible for this. Recently divorces in Idaho are increasing and this has had a huge impact on children.
According to Statista, there were 3.9 divorces per 1000 inhabitants in Idaho in 2019. No matter what, divorces are very heart-breaking for the children. It is mainly because they do not get to see their parents together again.
The Reaction of Children to Divorces in Idaho:
The rate of divorces in Idaho is increasing and this will always affect the children in one or another. Mostly the reaction to divorces in Idaho is shock, sadness, depression, stress, and worry. They think of several scenarios in their mind and most of them are worse. A good and a bad thing about children is they are very emotional and counseling is the best way to help them in coping up with the stress they have to go through because of the divorce of their parents.
The first year of divorce is very tough for children. You may see several behavioral and emotional issues in children due to the divorce of their parents. Divorce for the children normally means that they will lose daily contact with one of their parents, mostly fathers. This makes them feel scared that they may lose the love of their parents.
Children of the divorced families experience very externalizing issues, like, impulsive behavior, conduct disorders, and delinquency, etc. In addition to the emotional and behavioral problems, some children have to experience conflicts with peers too after the divorce of their parents. They have to go through the changed behavior of their friends too that makes them sad.
Counseling the Children:
The first step towards counseling the children through a divorce in Idaho is to help them understand what is going on. It is mainly due to the reason that they will have several questions despite their age. The parents need to understand that answering these questions will be very helpful for them as well as their children. This makes fears of the children lesser and they will be able to understand their parents too.
Your listening ear, patience, and reassurance can reduce the stress as your children try to cope with this unfamiliar situation. You can make your children feel that they can count on you for your unconditional love, support and stability even after divorce by providing them with a routine they can rely on. This will make them feel secure and safe, as well as loved.
Help your children to deal with issues they have to face in school and their friend’s circle due to your divorce. They will need them more than ever and you should try to understand this. Do not make it public until your child wants to. This will help them to accept it and maintain normalcy with time.
School counselors and online counseling of the children also help them to go through this phase smoothly. Try to make your children understand that it is not bad to talk and pour out what they feel. This lessens their stress and fears. Do anything you have to for their counseling so that their mental health doesn’t get worse.
The Do’s and Don’ts:
To keep things civil and easy, we have compiled a list of do’s and don’ts for divorces in Idaho so that you can take things easy with your children and won’t hurt them in the process:
- Show your child/children the love and care they deserve
- Try to make sure they know that they are not the reason behind your divorce
- Answer all the questions your children have
- Be honest with your children
- Pay all the support obligations thinking that this is for your children
- Don’t vent about your ex-spouse in front of your children
- Don’t pay your child support late; It will make them think that you are neglecting them. Seek for an increase in a time limit if you have genuine issues
- Don’t make them wait when they want to see you
- Don’t use them as a negotiating tool
- Don’t make them pick any one parent
About Boise Family Law
We at Boise Family Law are determined to help you and your children if you want to file a divorce in Idaho and don’t want to ruin your relationship with your children. Call us now for legal advice and representation.