- October 24, 2021
- Divorce
What would you tell your kids about your separation? The answer to this issue is not easy. But one thing is certain; making sure you are delivering an age-appropriate message to your children is a key to helping them process this news. There are some tips for sharing (and concealing) with your children about your divorce in Idaho.
Marriage and divorce rates declined between 2009 and 2019, according to the United States Census Bureau. The national split-up rate in 2019 was 7.6. The typical age is 30 years for couples who divorce for the first time. Those couples who waited till the age of 25 years to get married were 24% less expected to divorce. On the other hand, those with strong religious beliefs had a 14% lesser chance to divorce.
What Not to Share About Your Divorce to Your Kids:
While it’s important to be honest with your children, here are some things it’s best not to share.
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Too Many Details:
Children just need to be told that they do not need to know more about those things that will directly affect them during a divorce in Idaho.
Do not overwhelm them with details about the reason for the divorce. All they need to know is that they are no longer happy together and have decided to live separately, it will be better for everyone.
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Negative Opinions About Your Ex-Spouse:
No matter how difficult it is, do not fight with your ex-spouse in front of your children at all costs during a divorce in Idaho. You may have ended your relationship with your spouse, but the children will continue to stay in touch with both of you.
Do not expose your child to more stress and emotional pressure, as this is also a tough time for them.
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Updates on Legal Issues:
The divorce process can be time-consuming and older children may need to keep abreast of what’s going on. Try to update the information as needed without providing visual details. Every story has two sides, except in extreme situations. Try not to put things from your point of view.
Your child may need to attend an appointment with a court-appointed family counselor. Under any circumstances, refrain from trying to influence what they have to say or think about any problem.
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Who Said What:
Focus on the needs of the children and do not expose them to unpleasant encounters or conversations with their ex. Who said what, who (and their interpretation of events) should not matter.
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The Conflict Between You and Your Ex-Spouse:
Any conflict between you and your ex-spouse must be strictly maintained between the two of you and never extend to children. They have emotions of their own that need to be managed without feeling sandwiched between parenting issues.
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Money Problems:
The same principle applies to money problems. They are common in many annulments but must be discussed and decided by parents and the legal system, not by the children. Older children may need to tell the truth if there is no money, and you should help them sort out the situation without defaming your ex-spouse.
What to Share About Your Divorce in Idaho With Your Kids:
It’s important to be open about certain topics, including:
The Truth:
First of all, children need to know one basic fact; you and your partner broke up and will not continue to live together. This should be communicated according to age and, as needed, in short, simple comments. Honesty and simplicity with your child will build self-confidence and set a healthy role model for them after a divorce in Idaho.
How Much You Both Love Them:
When children are regularly reminded that both their parents love them, they will feel calmer and can help them cope and adjust to separation and new living conditions. Instead of trying to outdo your ex by buying expensive gifts for them and providing them with special services, adopt this technique to ease this process for the kids.
You Do Not Blame Them for Your Split:
It is often said that children feel guilty about the breakdown of their parent’s marriage, therefore, they need reassurance that this is not the case. Don’t let them be manipulated or influenced by such thoughts.
You Are Still a Family and Things Will Work:
By dealing with an ex-spouse and minimizing conflict, your children will understand that, despite the distance, you are still a family living in two different homes. Children are generally more resilient and do much better than adults. Creating a suitable environment for them is the least we can do so they can feel safe and comfortable.
Contact Us to Know More:
Are you ready to move on? Or Want to keep things polite as you separate? Contact us now for a consultation about your divorce in Idaho and know your rights.
